Chestnut Brown And Cinnamon Happiness Read online

  “Why would he marry me? I am pretty, but not like you. You are so beautiful. I am about to die I am finally going to tell you the truth about some things. Before the time that we were going to get married Robert was still interested in restaurant. So I went down to see the restaurant while Robert was meeting with his friend that owns the restaurant. The last couple days I kept thinking about that day and I didn’t know why until finally remembered. I saw you and I thought to myself there is no way I would let Robert be part of this restaurant.”

  “What do you mean you saw me?” Loren said.

  “I saw you talking to the staff and had different design for the restaurant. And I thought there is no way he would still want to be married to me if he saw you. Loren you really don’t know how beautiful you are. It wasn’t until Thomas told about a restaurant that was down there and a new treatment center was down there. So we moved. Now I know for sure that if he became partner at the restaurant then I wouldn’t be in the picture. When you all first became friends he would mention your name a few times. I could tell there was attraction between you two. The more you two hung out around each other the more I notice that you had in common.”

  “Maria, what I have knew or know about Robert is this that he would have still married you. He loves you.” Loren said trying to wrap her head around it.

  “Sometimes I think lately that this is my punishment. I stole his love. Do you want to know that when we start having sex it was like he was there with me? When he start taking some of the classes that he like we started having sex twice a week. I didn’t want to have sex, but once a week. The real reason was because of my treatments it was hard to get the same kind of wetness until he come home from the cooking class. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world.” Maria said.

  “You should have told him about your cancer. He would have understand. When did your sex life go downwards?”

  “It was about the end of second to third year of our marriage. Do you know what hurt me that he didn’t want to have sex with me? He didn’t ask or beg or anything you see on TV. Plus I was embarrassed because it was like I wasn’t a woman anymore. So I was scared of losing him that I control everything. I knew I would die soon then liked so I want to pay for everything so that way he could keep his checks. I wanted him to have enough money to live and to start again.”

  “You didn’t let him pay for anything?”

  “No. Sometimes I felt like lately I purposely stole him away from you. I felt like he was supposed to yours. There is at least two more example of how I saw you, before we moved. There had been parties that we went to.” Maria said.

  “Did you do that with all women or just me?” Loren said.

  “Just you. I am surprised that he never went to his basement and saw the pictures.” Maria.

  “What pictures?” Loren trying to calm herself down. “What are you talking about?”

  “Before me and Robert got married he shown me pictures of his dream girl. And she looked just like you. Before I came to London I went to his parents’ house and his sister let me in. I needed to see the picture. I forgot what his dream girl looked like and it was you. It has always been you.” Maria said getting up from her chair and walking out.

  Chapter Ten

  Robert dropped the extra couple of pounds. He was learning the ins and outs of the restaurant business. He knew that it would be a couple months before he had everything down. He wanted to do well for her. For his Loren. He liked the idea what his dreams shown him at night. For ten years he had spent it on someone that he thought would be his world. He would tell her that he wanted to date her after she come back from London.

  On the days that he wasn’t working he planted some roses so that he could be a line with the sidewalk up to the front door. He was feeling like this for the first time was his home. He would go to her room and it would smell like her. When he felt lonely he would go and lay and her bed and smell the scent that she left on the bed.

  Robert was looking at a book of plants. He wanted to plant some outside. So when she came back she would have the home that she always wanted. He heard the doorbell. He opens it and it was Jason.

  “What are you doing here?” Robert said.

  “I wanted to clear the air. I wanted to say sorry. I knew that it was your moment with Loren. And I told her that, but she thought you would need someone to talk to. Can I come in?” Jason said dejectedly.

  “Ok” Robert steps aside. “You want something to drink. I have some soda, tea, or water.”

  “Thanks, I will have any type of soda that you have. Loren asked about me and you talking again. I just hung up on her when she was on the phone. I came by to say I am sorry.”

  “You came to say sorry because Loren asked about our friendship?” Robert said in unbelief.

  “Loren just got a way of asking that I can’t say no to. Are we ok?’ Jason asked.

  “Yeh, we are ok.” Robert saw Jason smile then frown. “Are you ok?”

  “Yes, and no. For four years then only time she wants to hang out with me if you did or said something. Don’t know if she and I are ok? You know.”

  “I know.”

  “So what are you going to do now? Are you going to continue to do the whole writing thing like you are?”

  “My friend Chris who has been asking me for years to go into business with him, I guess that what I am going to do. The divorce or maybe the idea of divorce is been hitting me hard lately. And especially with Loren has been gone. I just want to stay busy. I had ten years to think about how bad the marriage really was.”

  “Well, I understand when me and my ex ended I felt like crawling out of my skin. It was like this whole chapter of my life was over. I didn’t know where to begin. I was happy at the fact that I got out before it became too bad. I was going to asked Loren to go with me, but would you like to go on an trip with me to California in two months? What do you say?”

  “OK, I have to talk to my partner Chris and see when exactly he wanted to expand. Why are you going to California?”

  “I used to live there before the divorce, but now I go a couple times a year to make sure I keep up the maintence on the property. One day I told myself that I will move back there. It was a gift I gave myself. My ex-wife hated California. So I thought to myself that’s where I need to buy my house. I was going to then I saw Loren. Talking to her help me go through some of the hardest moments of my life.”

  Throughout the day Robert and Jason talked. They talked about the plans to the future. Robert also talked to Chris and he understood. They went to play poker with the rest of Robert’s friends. Robert started to feel like he was a new person. When he arrived back home he went to his room. He checked his e-mail and saw that Loren didn’t write him. She wrote him every day, but not to day.

  That night he dreamed about Loren. He was on beach and he was running towards her then he stopped. Loren started to run towards him, but before she could reach him he saw Thomas. Thomas stood between them with his back towards Robert. Thomas then picks up Loren and takes her away. He woke up with sweat all over his forehead. He looked at the clock and it was the middle of the night where he was at. Loren would be in the middle of her day. All of a sudden he started to worry because he remembered that it was Thomas who would be opening a restaurant in London with Maria. And if Loren would be staying with Maria then Thomas would come around. He shook it off and went back to sleep and told himself that it was nothing. Was it nothing?

  After the little conversation in the kitchen Maria started to get worst. She started to look pale. She knew that she wouldn’t have much longer to live. She would need to call Robert soon. Her job was ended in London and it was time to for her go back the US. Her job told her she could take another two weeks off. Loren’s company was months head in there work. Loren would work harder than she ever did just so she could t
hink about what she was doing or how her life was going. Now it seems like Maria was holding on just long enough that she could have some time off.

  Loren took a deep breath as she dialed the number in her cell phone. She listened as the phone kept ringing. Maria only had about a week to live. Maria told her that she lied to her because she didn’t want her to worry. It went straight to the answering machine. She kept calling Robert cell-phone, but the phone kept losing the signal.

  Robert walked into his house. Loren hadn’t written in a couple weeks. He couldn’t stand not being around her and not talking to her. The smell from her bed left and he felt like he had nothing of her really. He could take the dreams that he was having. Either his dreams would be about Loren and him starting a family or it would be about the one on the beach. He couldn’t take it anymore. He booked a flight to London. He packed never hearing the machine beeping. He had to tell Loren that he love her and he would throw the divorce papers at Maria. Doing this would be the last thing he has to do before starting his new life hopefully with Loren.

  Loren hated that she didn’t keep in touch. Maria would tell her things about her marriage. She had two consent emotions helpless and sad. She felt helpless to help her friend. And sad because how could she be Robert now? After she tried several more times to call him. She e-mailed him telling him that he needed to come to London because Maria was sick.

  As he enters the plane he felt that going London his life was going to change. He brought pictures of Loren to be his motivation for going. He starts planning everything he wanted them to do. He knew that Loren had felt something for him and even if she didn’t love him he would prove to her that he would be the man he needs.

  It had been a day after she called Robert. Loren felt like her heart was breaking because Maria was starting to call out for Robert. Loren normally who could solve any problems couldn’t solve this one. What was she going to do? She started to pace up and down the house. She felt so lost.

  Robert stood outside the house. He could tell that Loren was in deep thought because she was pacing. He took one big breath and he rang the doorbell. He just knew that she was going to answer the door, but she didn’t. Instead of Loren, Thomas answered the door. Robert started to feel angry. What the hell is he doing here? He thought to himself.

  “Come in Robert she been looking for you.” Thomas said.

  Loren had asked about him, he thought to himself. “Where is she?”

  “She is upstairs. I have to go to the store to get some juice and some soup for her because she is really sick. She in the second bedroom.” Thomas as he left the house.

  Robert went over what he was going to say when he see her. He would tell her how he wanted to protect her. How he wanted to cook for her. How he wanted to make love her. He wanted to tell her that he could see them having a life together. How he wanted to have children with her. Right when he was in the middle of his speech in his head he sees Loren. He didn’t know what Thomas was talking about Loren looked fine. He had the divorce papers in his hands. She went and hugs him. He took in her smell. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to hold her that way forever.

  “I am so glad you are. Did you get my message that I left on the answer machine or the e-mail?” Loren said forlornly.

  “No, I am sorry to say I didn’t.” Robert said with a smile.

  “Then why are you here if you didn’t get any of my messages?” Loren said confused.

  “I came here because I wanted to tell you something. Since you been gone I had sometime to think and I am in love with you.” Robert said with a glow.

  “Stop and don’t say another thing until you follow me.” Loren replied as she opens the door to where Maria is in bed.

  Robert all of sudden felt sick. He never had seen Maria like this except for the week before they moved to Texas. He thought she caught the flu.

  “There you are Chestnut brown and cinnamon happiness. I have been asking you. Guess what I have cancer.” Maria said.

  “I leave you two alone. I am going to see if Thomas has the soup and the juice.” Loren said as she left Robert alone with Maria.

  Loren wanted to cry she could feel her emotions heading towards her eyes. When she went downstairs she saw Thomas pulling out things to make some soup and some juice. She wanted to cry and she did in Thomas arms. Thomas didn’t say anything he just held her. He missed her so much.

  Robert wanted to run away. He came to England to get the woman he discover he truly loved then he ended up in the room with his wife. The woman who made him leave everything that he known and loved about himself. The divorce papers he so proudly brought over there now is mocking him.

  “How long did you know that you have cancer? What kind of cancer do you have? Robert asked as he takes a chair right next to her bed.

  “I knew about this for a long time about a couple after we got married. The cancer is some long unnecessary name. Basely, I cancer around my ovaries that’s why we couldn’t have children.” Maria reply back to him.

  “You known for ten years and you didn’t tell me. All these years. Why didn’t you just tell me. You are the most selfish person I know. This is how you tell me on your death bed. I can’t believe it.” Robert said as he walk out of the bedroom where Maria was.

  Loren heard a door slam upstairs. She started to head upstairs when she met Robert halfway in the middle of the stairs. They didn’t talk they just looked at each other. Then Robert started to get mad because he realized that Loren knew before he did. She been there for almost four months, but she said nothing in her e-mails.

  “Where are you going?” Loren pleading with her eyes.

  “The hell way from here. Aren’t we friends? You have told me.” Robert replied.

  “Yes, I could but, it wasn’t my place to. Maria needed to tell you. It is important that she tells you. I wanted to tell you for so long.”

  “How long did you know?”

  “The day after you told me you was getting a divorce.” Robert looked at her angrily as he walked past her. “Robert you can get mad at me, but talk to her before it is too late. Tell her what you are mad at. Tell her that you love her before it is too late. Don’t let your pride use up these moments that you have with your wife.”

  “I am sorry, but I can’t.” Robert said as he walked out of the house.

  As Robert walked out Thomas came in with the groceries. Robert pass Thomas as if he was the enemy. He called his friend Steve and told him that he would need a place to stay. Steven told him to use the keys to his loft. Instead of getting a cab he walked. Many thoughts ran through his head. By time he reach Steve’s loft it was almost night. He didn’t want to talk to Steve or any of his normal friends so he called Jason.

  “Jason, this is Robert.”

  “Robert, where are you? I went by your house to see if you wanted to hang out.” Jason said.

  “I am in London. I came her stupidly to tell Loren that I love her, but only to find….”

  “that Maria is sick.” Jason finished his comment.

  “Does everyone, but me?”

  “Now that is a possibility. What’s going on in your head right now? What were you thinking when saw Maria?”

  “Do want to know what I was thinking? You selfish Bitch. You made me hate all these years because you are too much of a selfish person to come to me and tell me. So I left.” Robert said.

  “What did Loren tell you when she saw you going?”

  “Does that really matter?”

  “Yes, it does. What did she tell you when you were leaving?”

  “She told me not to let my pride to get in the way of my last moments with my wife.”

  “She is right. You have all after Maria dies to get angry with her, but you don’t have long to before she dies. You need to take the few moments you have and ask her questions you al
ways wanted to know. What did you want to know?”

  “Why did we only have sex once a week? Why did you want to control everything?” Robert said.

  “Go back over the house and talk to your wife before it is too late.”

  Loren was at the house pacing back and forth. She had many things going through her minds. Robert had told her that he loved her. She knew that he might love or want her when he sees Maria. Loren thought how she loves both of them, but her heart was breaking. She never got into a fight with Robert before. Thomas went up to talk to Maria who was crying. Loren knew that she should go to her any try to comfort her, but she couldn’t at this moment. She spent most night dreaming about Robert and waking up to the reality. She knew when Robert lived with her she was in a dream. Loren knew that Robert would come back and talked to Maria then reality would set in.

  Robert this time took a cab to Thomas’ house. He stood outside the door as if wish he could disappeared. Before he could reach the doorbell or the knob Loren opens the door. She moves aside and lets him in. She took him to his room and said nothing. She knew that it wouldn’t be until morning until Robert could speak to Maria.

  Robert mind started to rush with all kinds of thoughts like why didn’t she tell him that she was sick. He tried to lay into his bed that he was given and sleep, but he couldn’t. He got out of bed and started to pace. He couldn’t help it he wanted to sleep. He had so many question over the years that he wanted to ask her like. Anytime that he had many questions and he wanted to make sure that all his question was being answered. So he sat at the desk that was in his room and began to write all the questions that he should have asked Maria a long time a go. He knew that he had to ask the question or he wouldn’t let Maria go.

  He finally went to sleep around three o’clock London time. Normally it would have taken him hours and days to get use to the time change, but it was his emotions and his worrying that was controlling his ability to sleep. The smell of coffee woke him up and for a very short time he forgot where he was. He thought he was back at Loren’s house or worst in his dream. But he wasn’t any of these places. He saw the small wooden desk that he had been pacing in. He was in a bed that smell like maple doughnuts with really ugly wall paper. Now that Robert looked around fully he realize he would like to be in one of those places. Robert put on a shirt and went downstairs to where he slightly remember where the kitchen was. And just like his dreams Loren was back was to him making him the coffee. He was glad that Loren was making the breakfast he was scared that he would have to be eating something with beans.